WORK: BUSINESS PITCHES

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Only one way to clean up that mess

Cocoa, the basic component of chocolate, contains the compound Theobromide.  "The God Chemical" it was once called.  Why?  That Theo shares the same latin root as Theology, aka the study of religious belief.  Certainly there are many chocolate lovers out there who might swear they belong to such a religion!

 

But the problem with chocolate is that it is full of sugar and will certainly lead to fat, acne and other unhealthy results when over-consumed.  Yet cocoa without sugar is too bitter to be swallowed by more than the most devot C-Bean Heads, if I may coin a term.

 

Or is it?

 

I propose a  chocolate company which sells pure cocoa pills as a sex marital aid type product.

 

The pill form would be a capsule which would be tasteless, thus you could allow for ingestion without feeling like you just ate dirt.

 

As we know, chocolate has been used as a valentine's gift for centuries (after being used as a fantastic ritual by the Aztecs) precisely because Theobromide is an effective stimulant and aphrodesiac.

 

And last time I checked, sex stimulation sells.

 

Trust me, I check a lot too.  

And, last time I checked,  chocolate and cocoa are also already perfectly legal to sell even when presented more like a suppliment or a sexytimes enhancement.  Hence, though sold like a drug it needs no FDA approval. After all, isn't a heart shaped box filled with chocolate also acting as somewhat of a sexually-themed gift since romance is clearly implied?  I don't see anyone shutting down Sees because they dabble in the funky arts and promote teen pregnancy, do you?  And won't those EDM ravers gobble anything they can get their hands on that is sexy or stimulating?  I think I've got a winner here.

 

So... I'm officially starting XTC-Coc to provide what the marketplace has so often promised in the past yet failed to deliver-- a sex drug in a pill.

 

I've already found a source to supply the pills and I have already tested them on myself to ensure that (even when used at doses higher than will be recommended on the bottle) there are no obvious side effects of health hazards.  When people overeat their Sees candy they don't often blame Sees for the predictible ill health effects suh as diabetes, do they?  (Though I'm sure there's a lawyer who just sat up in their chair with an idea for a class action).  

 

Nonetheless, or even with some of the less, I thought I better be sure because there is always going to be some fool who wants to overdose for science.

So what I found when I did try dosing myself with large amounts of the chemical substance known as cocoa (as well as a great deal of pure distilled rainwater) was that it definitely increased the intensity of my orgasms and sensual feelings both before and during the physical act of lovemaking.  And I did not deny them my essence, Mandrake, it was healthy and prodigious.  (Imagine that last paragraph was spoken in the voice of the crazy General in Dr. Strangelove).

 

Honestly, it wasn't like suddenly I was a porn star on 5Meo-dpit but it was certainly better than normal.

 

Not only that, since it is in pill form and pure cocoa, it is sugar-free and organic and much less unhealthy for that reason that regular chocolate by a mile.  So why not get the same effects without the sugar?

 

But don't change the channel yet! There's more!  

 

There are many other super desirable and super healthy effects of a hot theobromide injection straight into your system. The health effects are so numerous that I can't even list them all here! But don't take my word for it, you can look it up for yourself on the internet to save me from a quick cut and paste job and at the same time validate my claims from all kinds of third parties who have credibility (and even some like Dr. Oz who don't!)

I think I'm going to have to run for shelter, run for shade myself

However, there is one problem.  The only thing I'm sure about, other than using a photo of Peaches and Herb on the front of the bottle without a doubt, is that it has to have a great name.  Any attempt to skew to the black love contingent as a sure fire market to work hard has got to start with a memorable product name.  So far I'm using X-T-C Coc (with the "coke" or "cock" implied there) but I keep playing around with other ideas.  Anyone want to offer their opinion as to which one they think works best or toss out an idea?

 

Here are some of the others...

 

T-coc

T-cock

XTcoco

XTC Cocoa

XTCok

Cocoa Love

X-cock

Cocoa Tease

 

Of course eventually we would expand the product line to real chocolate products and fine high-cocoa content baking goods.   We would also advertise one as having special weight losing properties (which would be mostly them getting rid of their sugar consumption and some endothermic reaction from the mild stimulant effects, true enough to avoid lawsuit).  A "double dose" one would also eventually be produced.

 

Ok, for those who contact me quick I might be able to allow you to take an equity stake as a qualified investor doing a private placement on my terms.  

 

But be quick!  This isn't the Shark Tank and I don't need to go begging to anyone only to be humilated on national tv at best and at worst shown to be a businessperson too stupid to avoid giving away their destiny as a business owner because of the promise of fame, some capital on poor terms, a chance to rub shoulders with celebrity, and all the bright lights that shine on you when its your turn to meet their glare!

 

See you at the Bammies!