Dude, You're Unglued

by Kevin Salveson

 

Dude,

you're unglued!

 

Get a grip

on the ice chest

and pass me a brew.

 

It's not happening

so go ahead and grapple.

All snap and no tap?

Buy yourself a clue.

 

She doesn't want you.

The last time you two screwed

was in forever and a blue moon.

 

Far as I'm concerned,

the story's over.

Don't waste my time with your 

mealy mouthed blubber

 

Oh lover, lover!

You're slobbering.

 

Don't you mean

mother mother?

 

Better watch out or

this'll be the fappening.

 

Here's the bottle opener 

and a bagful of rubbers.

Its Laughlin, Nevada;

go knock yourself out.

 

Get out and go clubbing,

you're ten types of fug.

Go scout for a strumpet 

a rub and a tug.

 

Pop for a muppet

'til your dumb member's numb,

over and overkill

'til you or forever comes

 

Ok now don't stew.

Get a grip on the ice chest 

and pass me a brew!